Tuesday, May 3, 2016

First Hike Brings Light!

Each year for the past three years, I hike on the first Tuesday of May, which is the state of Indiana's voting day. It is usually the first hike of the season for me; and there is a spot I love to go to that I think is the prettiest spot in Indiana - but ONLY right now. It is only during the first part of May that his section is it's most beautiful. It is when the all the greenery are still green and the ground is still wet and soft from the winter thaw.

It's hard to get here in the first part of May. You have to hike through wetlands and mud past your ankles. You have to put all your fears aside as well: fear of spiders, wasps, bees, worms, webs, snakes, etc. Also, your dislikes as well: getting wet or muddy, or risk falling, or the feel of the mud seeping through your shoes, or whatever about nature you dislike.

Once you get through pushing down all your fears and dislikes and hike through it all - because let's face it, you will face something you do not like on this trial - and once you push past the pain from the treacherous hike itself (for someone who is completely out of shape it is treacherous), you get to a small piece of heaven in Porter, Indiana. It is the most beautiful wetlands you have ever seen.

When I first hiked here it looked like the place where Yoda lived in Empire Strikes Back (ahhhh the Dagobah system. I had forgotten for a second). This was years ago. Every year it looks a little different than the years before. That first year there, there were many trees. Many of those trees have since died and new life is forming and growing.

However, one thing remains: the beauty of this place and it's peaceful atmosphere. Not to mention there are always birds chirping. (There are so many different species and bird calls. Today, I heard and saw a turkey vulture for the first time ever. I hear woodpeckers all the time and have always wanted to see one, but they are sneaky little critters that leave or hide when I look up.) Those birds just remind me of God's majesty and how unbelievably smart He is. He created all those creatures and each one of them unique. As I am sitting here taking in the beauty of this place, the peaceful atmosphere, and listening to the birds, I feel the presence of God. He even blessed me with a butterfly flying right next to me around a plant almost the whole time I have been writing this. Anyone who knows me, knows that butterflies and penguins are my favorite creatures.

Several times on this hike today I wanted to quit. I even asked myself, "Is this even worth it?" I have never had to hike through what I did today and I stood there looking at what was infront of me and just debated if the hike through all of that was worth the price to see for just a few moments and a small area of ground. But then I said to God, "I gotta push through. I have given up so many times because the going gets tough on these trails. I have always missed part of the trail. This time, I am going to complete the entire trail. I am going to push through because no matter what way I take it is going to be hard going to get there with all the rain we have had." I then asked Him for the strength to do it, gave all of my fears/dislikes of the hike to Him, had faith He would see me through, and continued on.

And Oh wow, was the payout worth the trial! I have never seen the wetlands with so much water, so much green, and so many animals. God brought me to my own promiseland looking even better than any previous time I have come.

I started thinking while watching the landscape here. Life is kind of like this hike sometimes. Life is hard and sometimes we give up on things because of how hard the "hike" or "trials" of life are. Fears of various natures/kinds sneak in and try to control us, but if we ask God for His help and push through the mud and water up to mid-calf, push through getting stuck and praying you don't fall (even though you slip a few times), push through all the bugs flying around you - or whatever your trials are through life; then the beauty will come in the end. It could be something here on earth, or it may be the Kingdom of God itself. It is right there. Just keep your focus on God and ask Him, He will give you the strength to complete the "hike," and keep pushing on.

The biggest difference between life and today is that I have to get up off of this boardwalk and leave. I can't stay here all day even though I want to. I want to worship my God through this nature walk. I want to listen to the peaceful sounds of birds chirping and watch the butterflies while hearing the water flow from one side of the boardwalk to the other and praise Him for His creatioin. However, that isn't possible. On the other hand, in life, when we push through to the end, we get to stay with Jesus. We get to live eternally in heaven with Him! we get to see His glory and all His marvelous works. And when I see the tough trail ahead and ask myself, is it worth it to go see Jesus? There is no doubt that my answer is yes!

I am back! I may have fallen, but now I am risen up and am stronger. I know what lies before me and I know my God will guide me through it. I have found who I am in Christ! I have found my Chazown! I am no longer running from the Creator but running to Him. This is just the beginning. God has great things for all of us. All this beauty of this hike is just a beautiful reminder of who holds me under the shelter of His Wings!

Be blessed all!

Friday, March 1, 2013

Meeting Goals!

Okay, so my goal of scaling back on Farmville 2 on Facebook did not workout. I mean how can a game be so addicting for me? Well, this morning I had to go to extreme measures to ensure I'm not wasting anymore valuable time on games. I had to block it and delete my fake neighbors and fake FB pages I created to ensure that I got items when I needed them. It was so hard to do.

However, how can I get on my children and deny them facebook time for not having a clean room, finished homework, or just too much time on the internet when I myself haven't thawed anything out for dinner, or cleaned my own room, or finished any of the items on my to do list.

I must admit it, as I write this I realize I am the "P" word - a procrastinator who gets addicted to games on the internet. Ok, there, I said it. So, because I set forth goals for myself - and believe me I have many goals - I can't waste time watering and feeding and fertilizing and cooking in FB land when I am not accomplishing my real life goals. So there, I asked God for strength and He gave it to me.

I knew I had to block the games when I was rushing to FV 2 instead of reading my Bible in the mornings, or playing FV before my kids went off to school and not help her with breakfast or lunch. To be completely honest about how bad the addiction got, I have been letting her eat breakfast at school and taking her to school so we could both play at the same time.

Now there is a serious problem. I have now subjected my own child to my addiction and have helped her to get an addiction at the age of ten. The biggest problem was that I put FV2 before my God. I mean, who does that? Who sits there and basically says, "God, I don't have time to communicate with You because I'm playing games. I don't even have time to learn about You becuase I'm playing games." That is exactly who I do NOT want to be.

So now as I make my peace with God and pray He lets me back into His good graces, I am going to set forth and accomplish each goal I set for myself even if I have to find extreme or creative ways to do so. I pray that I get many things accomplished this year. My biggest goal is this year is to reach one of my other goals and not fall short.

I know I can do this because Phillipians 4:13 says I can. Have a great day!

Friday, February 8, 2013

The Hiding Places Moves Me

So one of my goals for this new year was to read all the books I own and haven't read before I purchase anymore. So far, I have been doing well. I cannot believe how many good books have sat on my shelves for years and I have not taken advantage of them.

I just finished, "The Hiding Place" with Corrie Ten Boom. I had it filed under B not realizing that her last name actually starts with a T. I have heard of her, but never really paid attention. She was someone the older, legalistic Christians liked and I was not like them. No, I was on fire. I was a new breed. I was bringing in a new wave of Christianity. How silly I was.

However, I read it. This real life story convicted me to the inner core and inspired me and encouraged me. I laughed at parts and cried at others. This was a book that I had a hard time putting down.

I was so excited to see how no matter what they went through, they were willing and obedient to God and what He wanted. They found God in each instant of their life. Corrie's attitude was more like mine is and she reminded me so much of myself. I had always looked to her as a perfect pillar in God's army, but she was a little hotheaded like me. She had a sense of justice, like do. Her sister, however, saw with God's eyes. She looked at the soldiers, the prisoners, and everyone through God's eyes. I couldn't believe it. These people tormented her and she loved them and felt bad for them being lost. I was so blown away! She even found God in the flea infested room, and eventually we all read how God truly was at work.

We also found that God was performing miracles like crazy that no one can explain, except that it was all God! And Corrie sure gave Him the glory! He deserved it.

This story brought me to reality and made me realize that no matter the circumstance I find myself in, God is always there. We may not see it or know it, but He is in each and every situation.

I thank God for using Corrie to bring me down on my knees and humble my spirit. I thank Him for showing us that when the enemy intends to wreak havoc in a nation or in our lives, He is there hidden and showing He is still the mighty King. Just reading about the salvation of so many women in the camps and later the staff and how she had to forgive the soldiers, nurses, betrayers and even led some to the Lord, lifted me up and encouraged me during this time of spiritual depression trying to take over our country.

God will not be mocked and I know that He will show Himself to me and to others if we keep our hearts true.

Read this book, you will not be sorry.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Lazy days of Winter

It has been so long since I have blogged. I would love to give an excuse, but it turns out I have just been enjoying the lazy days of winter. Or even worse, playing facebook games. I need to just ban all games from my facebook because they are so time consuming and what do they profit me? Lack of laundry being done, lack of vacuuming, etc.

I am not the normal person who can just play for a bit and then move on to the next. I get in 100% and get addicted. I tend to do that in many areas of my life. I give it all and give it all and become consumed by it. I have learned that my behavior isn't normal. So I am working on moderation and balance in my life.

That is one of my goals for 2013: I am going to learn how to balance all areas of my life in a normal way and do all things in moderation. Including eating. That one is a struggle for me as well.

Another goal for me is to get as many free Bibles and pass them out to children/people who can't always afford nice new Bibles by using the Tyndale Rewards program. I have already gotten a child a book with it for free and now I'm dedicating the rest of my points to Bibles. In a free country like ours, there is no need for anyone to go without a Bible. If you are interested in helping, the link is: www.TyndaleRewards.com

I have many goals and I will be trying to be realistic with them and will mention a new one with each blog and maybe even describe how I intend to meet those goals. My first one on moderation and balance will be a daily surrender and an accountability partner. The second one, will be to keep trying to earn points as the year progresses.

Well, as the new year begins, and all of our goals begin, so does the busyness of everyday life. We are in the middle of a gymnastic season, and church season, and school, and family. However, family should be at the front and not the back. As busy as life gets, do not forget the Lord and your families. Because everything else will fall by the wayside, but families and God are forever!

Have a great day!

Monday, September 3, 2012

I'm a Princess!

I screw up a lot. I know that I am not supposed to put myself down, but I do mess up a lot. This past week I was reading Paul's words in Romans 7:15, which say, "I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate." That describes me so well.

I get so frustrated with myself at times. I do not understand how each morning I get up, pray, and tell God that today is a new day and I am going to do well with my self-discipline (lie #1), and I am going to stick to my new feeding lifestyle that I know God told me to go by (lie #2), and that I am going to get all of my list for the day accomplished (lie #3). Without meaning to, I have lied to God three times before I have even gone to the bathroom. I really intend to do those things, but someone calls or comes by, the kids/grandkid needs something, or something inevitably takes over my mind and the day gets shot.

I got real holy last week though! I was going to overcome this devil in my life. I made the entire family (except the 19 year old rebel who feels she does not have to succomb to this fast) turn off the television for 21 days. I figured if the TV is not on then we will get our lives in order. Well, that ding dang dong "devil" (flesh, life, whatever you want to call it) made me so busy I could not tell if I was coming or going this entire first week. So all this time in prayer and feeding my spirit and soul did not even happen. Man, does Paul really get to my gut with that scripture up there.

It is easy to blame the devil for me. Because if he did it then I am not as responsible as I should be. I mean, I am responsible for what does or does not get done in my life, but if the enemy is messing with me and causing the problem, then I am not as fully responsible thus giving me a sort of a clean conscience. Or so I hoped. However, I knew something was off.

Well, I know that the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. However, Paul is showing me even more in Romans, that my flesh is still MY flesh and not the devil's. Therefore, I am responsible for my actions.

The bad thing is, I am still working on how to overcome my flesh. I promise you, I have started a 21 day fast like six times within the last month to help me with my flesh. Guess what? Yep, I have messed that up as well. Usually by day three I am crabby and sinning by lashing out at everyone around me and very far from holy. So I tell myself that since I am not honoring God anyway, I might as well eat. A long time ago, I convinced myself that God was the one telling me that. Now I know it is my stomach.

So I do not have the perfect answer or even a message from God on how to overcome the flesh other than what the Bible says. And that is pretty much taking authority over it. I quote scriptures all day to myself and the unseen enemy. I can even quote praises to God. However, I have not mastered what myself and Paul was working on. So over the next 21 days I will keep myself accountable and I hope I can learn. I will be digging into the scripture (truth #1) as I eat healthy (truth #2 - unless it is laid out before me because we are supposed to eat what is set before us right? Just kidding I will be good), and make a more doable list for each day (truth #3). As I move through this time period, as I find nuggets through prayer and reading, I will share them with my blog and see if I can get some enlightenment from the people in the virtual world to help me.

God bless and see you next time!


Saturday, August 25, 2012


I was speaking with an old friend this past week whom I hadn't seen in years. She is really an amazing woman. She asked me how someone in my family was doing, and I did not know how to answer without the situation going to complete awkward in zero to sixty real quick! This old friend saw my struggle and perceiving the amount of people I hadn't seen in years, advised me to say to the guests when they asked that my loved one was "working on the testimony of their life." I loved that saying. I really did. It spoke to my heart. Because the Word of God is so powerful to me and I have to trust in it's promises. If my loved one has been raised in the knowledge of the Lord, then when they are grown the Word of the Lord will not depart from their mouth. I felt my spirit lifted back from awkward to peace instantly!

However, my excitement did not end there!!! My friend went on to have me sit with her and proceded to talk to me about one of my children, who is a practicing prodigal on her way back home - Working on her testimony! She told me that there is no need to worry about my loved ones. My friend told me that I had to give them over to God and to stand on His promises. Then God, through her, showed me a promise straight from His best selling book.

It is found in Jeremiah verse thirty-one and verses sixteen and seventeen:
"But now this is what the Lord says:
'Do not weep any longer,
for I will reward you,' says the Lord.
'Your children will come back to you
from the distant land of the enemy.
There is hope for your future,' says the Lord.
'Your children will come again to their own land.'

You see, God's word never changes. Have you ever read a book as a child and when you went to reread it as an adult you found that some of the instances were changed or modified? Maybe some passages were removed or edited out of the newer version of the book? Well, that has happened to me to a bunch of books. The author does that to make the book more accomidating to the present time period. Well, let me tell you something. God's Word does not change. It is the same today, yesterday, and forever! He cannot change nor will His Word ever.

I was so blessed to hear that scripture that my friend shared with me and I have been rereading it in many different versions and applying it to my heart. I want it laminated for the refrigerator. I know my kids will be with me in paradise one day. I know my whole family will be in the throne room worshipping the Father with me. I know my family will reunite altogether one day and dance before the Lord in worship.

Why do I know this? Because the Lord is telling me through His Word! This is so awesome that I just had to share it with you. I thank the Lord and give Him all the glory! He is the master of my life and I would be nothing without Him. I am far from a perfect creature so I can't even -nor do I want to - imagine what my life would be like without Him in it!

Thank You, Lord for giving me my life and for honoring Your Word. I know the doctors were concerned, but I applied Your Word over me and now I am healthy! I know that when kids or siblings wander through the world, they will come Home because Your word says they will return from the enemy's camp! Thank You, Lord! To You be all honor and glory forever!

Love and bless you!

Monday, August 13, 2012

Seeing the Move of God Coming!

God is on the move! Many have worried about his existence, but they have not stopped to look around and see what is going on here on earth nor have they studied the scriptures. If they had, they would know that He is on the move and that He exists and that His Word is coming to life. So many signs and so many wonders are here.

According to the 2nd chapter of Joel, “Then, after doing all those things, I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy. Your old men will dream dreams, and your young men will see visions!"

Okay, I have been seeing this happen a lot lately. Even my own daughter has had some of these things happen to her.

This weekend I got the opportunity to watch the children of a friend so they could go work and help at a youth camp. Their children were so well mannered and well behaved. I could not believe it. I normally am the last person who volunteers to take children for a weekend. No one even asks me if they could leave their children with me. I love kids, don't get me wrong, but for a couple of hours. Or just having a couple spend the night with their parents home so I could send them home if need be. And NEVER do I take in boys. I have all girls and just don't know what to do with the boys.

However, this weekend, it was almost supernatural how smoothe things went. The boy was so amazing. I almost wished I hadn't had a tubal ligation because I wanted a boy like him. Almost! The girls all got a long just fine. It was truly amazing.

Their parents in the mean time were ministering to youth for the first time, and God was really moving where they were. They all got in tune with God and God moved mountains for them. Awesome.

What does this have to do with the end times I am talking about? It is about the move of God. Where as God worked miracles at this camp, God also worked miracles in my home as well. We made some mistakes this week. My husband, myself, and my kids. We said some ungodly things to one another. I even stopped and said to myself, "This doesn't sound right at all. This is not in our nature. The enemy is at work here trying to destroy something." All I did was cry out to God in my heart.

Then, on Sunday, when Ruben gave communion (la Santa Cena), I knew that in order to take the communion I had to repent for my part. 1 Corinthians 11:24-28 says, "And when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, 'This is my body which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.' In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, saying, 'This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.' For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes. Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty concerning the body and blood of the Lord. Let a person examine himself, then, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup."

Okay, so since I'm not sure what "unworthy" describes in detail, I examined myself and didn't want to deal with the repercussions in case my sin -although repented was still unconfessed to Ruben, my pastor and my covering. And of course the sin was against him. So I confessed and then popped the bread in my mouth. Ruben laughed (thank God he is a laid back person), but I really felt guilty. Then everyone apologized for their wrong doings. That just does not happen a lot here. The kids yes, the adults? No. (I think we are growing).

Again, what does this have to do with the beginning of this bog? I would have confessed to God in the past and taken the communion, or "accidentally" be in the bathroom when communion was served. But I have this deep need/desire to serve God right and to do things the right way right now because I can see the people around me. I can see children prophesying. I can see young having visions and I do not consider myself old, but I am having dreams.

There are wars and rumors of ward, there are earth quakes getting stronger and more frequent. there are famines throughout the world still (the news doesn't report it but I found out recently there are still famines real bad in some countries in Africa), and there is so much pestilence (contagious diseases) out there. These are physical signs. God says these are just the beginning of sorrows in Matthew chapter four.

Then Jesus goes on to say that people will turn on each other, and that love will grow cold. This is happening so much now. This earth is not the same as it was even when I was a child. Funny, my mom used to tell me how horrible the earth was compared to when she was a child. It seems to be getting worse with each generation.

In Luke 17:26, we read about how it will be as in the days of Noah. I am not sure if anyone has stopped to look around, but when homosexuality becomes such an integral part of society that even the church is divided on it's stance, I am pretty sure we are definitely getting close to the days of Noah if we are not already there. Everyone is starting to do what is right in their own minds.

Is there a need to fear? No, and if you do, read 1 John 4:18, "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love." Or read 2 Timothy 1:7, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."

Worrying is not of God, and Peter says in one of his epistles that we can cast all our cares upon Him. God will take our fears. Those of us who fear the end times, we need to cast those worries on Him. He will take us through and give us strength. You don't believe me? Just read the Bible. It's full of God's promises! You don't believe the Bible? Well, look around because it was written 2000+ years ago and it is coming true now - in your life time, and in my life time.

We were especially chosen by God to be here during this time period. Isn't that amazing? God chose us for here and now. So what are you going to do with your lot? Are you going to join this move of God? Are you going to sit by and watch it pass and hope nothing bad falls upon you? Will you be watchful? Will you pray?

I say, I want to be in the kingdom of God and up in the front row of the throne room praising my Lord. Am I perfect? No. Do I sin. Yes. Am I sorry I am not perfect? You betcha. Perfect people annoy me because I cannot seem to be as good as them. But at the end of the day, I know they struggle with something. Everyone does. I keep telling myself that. No I may not be perfect, and I might struggle with sin. But I know God is my deliverer and will relieve me of my torment or my sins and will make me whole.

I look forward to that day and I know He is my strength and my rock and my comforter. He is there when I need Him. By looking around at everything going on around us in this world, I know His time is at hand.

Be watchful, my friends. Be watchful in all things. For that great day of the Lord is soon at hand. Mark my words. I pray all of you are up there with us in heaven when the time comes. God bless!